By Kishori Sud
Title: "Dating & Marriage diaries in Urban India"; Author: Sahil Thaker; Publisher: Notion Press; Pages: 96; Price: Rs.149
Many Indians search for their life partners on matrimonial websites these days. Some have good experiences while some have sour memories by the end. A lot of parents in India look for NRI boys for their girls while a lot of NRIs look for their "typical Indian" girls via these websites.
Although the author has researched a lot on the topic, marrying his own experiences with facts and providing a basic guide to searching for a life partner, beware! The read is not soft or laced with sugar!
Completely from a man's point of view, Sahil Thaker's brutally honest penned-down experiences give an insight as to how and on what basis people do or should look for their better half.
One wouldn't say that every reader would agree to the points made by him, but the thoughts shared by the author, who was born and raised in Mumbai and has lived in US for almost six years, can be very offending for the female readers.
The author has taken to categorising girls, elucidating on the "types" of women who have their profiles on the matrimonial websites like "The ugly" -- a woman who is almost overweight or obese -- with "spelling mistakes and grammatical errors" in her profile, "the visa queen", "the princess", "the over-liberated" and the "hardworking types". Perhaps the categories speak a lot about the thought process of not just Thaker but many men.
All said and done, the composition of facts and experiences shared by the author give direction to a lot of individuals who are looking forward to settling down. With headers like "factors to consider in a potential spouse" and "miscellaneous considerations", the book has been broken down into a lot of sub-heads, which play a crucial role in finding that perfect someone.
The read also addresses the issue of many and although irksome in the beginning, highlights the ill-effects of tobacco.
"Dating & Marriage diaries in Urban India" also highlights the issue of dowry. The author, who has left key tip notes at the end of every sub-heading, states, "Do not pay any dowry in cash or kind, refuse to marry if asked for dowry".
Another important topic discussed is household responsibilities.
The author says that it is important to discuss factors like: Where will you be living, especially if you are living with your in-laws then they could have additional expectations; dividing household responsibilities, especially if the couple is living alone and how much an individual wants to contribute to running the household, among others.
Overall, "Dating & Marriage diaries in Urban India" is a brutally honest composition, which should be read by people be it the groom or the bride as it gives insight to a lot of factors we might not have actually considered in our search for that perfect someone.
(Kishori Sud can be contacted at kishori.s@ians.in)
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