London, Feb 15 (PTI) Ellen Page says she used to have panic attacks before she came out as gay because the actress struggled with "gender conformity".
The "Freehold" actress, who came out as gay two years ago, struggled with depression earlier in her career and took time to properly assess how she really felt, reported Female First.
"When you're on that track you're a racehorse, going and going with these blinders on. You don't stop to address how you feel.
"I'd get panic attacks and sense an incredible discomfort because I didn't relate to the conformity that comes with my gender (such as wearing feminine dresses on shoots). I was doing something I love and also wondering, 'What's wrong with me?' You hate yourself for feeling bad, so you pretend you're happy. I'd ask myself, 'Can't you just flip a switch, be a character, play the game?' "
Now, the 28-year-old star is much more comfortable and even embraces fashion now she really "gets" it.
"I do interviews [now] with a sense of, 'Oh, this is what it's like'. A photo shoot used to only represent discomfort, I felt guilty for lying. Fashion once meant dresses and heels, and I didn't know why I'd want to be dressed that way.
"Now I'm like, 'Oh my god, those boots!' Those are not words I thought I'd ever say. A beautiful suit is nice. I get fashion now. In fact, I love it.
